The Introduction
|
|
|
By:
|
princess_geek
|
|
Mood:
|
disappointed
|
|
Date:
|
01/20/2008 08:06:48
|
|
Music:
|
Yours by Lovex
|
|
|
So, it's 20 days into 2008 and so far my new years resolution to lose weight has gone unnoticed. This is the first step. I don't know if anyone will read this... but I just need some form of outlet. I need to tell someone whats going through my mind. So this is it.
Let me start. I'm 21 years old and I weight 145kg (I don't know what that is in pounds... but it's alot... i know that) I have always been fat. I don't remember how old I was when I hit the 100kg mark. But I'm going to hit it THIS YEAR!
I get depressed about my weight. I cry at night, I tell myself that I will lose weight... that I will exercise, and eat healthy, but in the morning the motivation is gone, and I'm back to being happy (well as happy as I can be like this) but then when night comes and I'm lying in bed, it starts all over again... like some vicious circle.
I need some motivation... I think thats my biggest problem. I've never been on any diet (like weight watchers or atkins or jenny craig, or whatever) I don't know if I should. My mum tells me I should go walking, but I find walking boring. I'm trying to decide if I should join a gym.
The whole idea of being fat for the rest of my life scares the ??? out of me. I've never had a boyfriend, but I watch people that are as large as me or even larger with boyfriends... my weight is screwing with my confindence. And the fact I lost my job that I loved was just another blow at my self-esteem.
So I guess the whole reason I joined this community was to find people like me, that know what I'm going through, and just to be able to talk to people and let it all out.
| 
