LIVE CHAT | IM LIST | BOOKMARK US | HELP
Home  l  Gallery  l  Browse  l  Blogs  l  Forum  l  Rate  l  Battle  l  Poll  l  Groups  l  Classified  l  Quiz   l  Events   l Signup
s top2
left_img2
Member Login
Username:
Password:
Remember Me
  Lost Your Password?

left_img
 
MENU:    
 

Lets begin

noimage_75
By: Mayness
Mood: disappointed
Date: 04/22/2010 05:37:17
Music: None


it's time to start. Start again, i gotta add. i already started once, at the beginning of this year. after 2 months i was well on my way to my weight loss goal. then i moved, started working at my current job, and everything fell into pieces.

two main reasons really, on one hand i was simply unhappy, living in temporary accomodation that i really didn't like, knowing that for a couple of months i will only have the chance to see my lovely guy once every few weeks, doing a job i didn't really want to do, i just took it for financial reasons. on the other hand a job in which i am surrounded by food and handling it many times a day, having access to a lot of leftover snacks, often either cakes or fatty, high-calory products. and i snapped, i started snacking, then munching, and now i am stuffing my face again, to tell it as it is. i got my chocolate and sugar cravings again, which is killing me. i keep promising myself - only one more day of this, and tomorrow i will get back to my diet.

in the meantime i regained almost everything i lost, and as it stands, i am on 64.5 kg. here comes the third, additinal reason of my failure. having almost gone back to the starting point has knocked me off my feet, i got so depressed and unhappy with myself, i just couldn't find the strength to get back on track. and i started eating to improve my mood... but as we know, eating because of stress makes people happy for a bit, and then makes them feel even worse cause they lost to the food again.

i really want to do this. i want to be slim, look good, feel great. i found this website and i thought that perhaps if i find some people who know and understand how i feel and they will help me with some mental support, perhaps i can really start it and FINISH it this time.

please, help me loose my wobbly bits!







VIEWING 1 - 3 OUT OF 4 COMMENTS

Page:  1 | 2 | Next >  Last >>


From: esjayan
06/26/2011 23:00:08


From: gangge
05/16/2011 01:57:28

          &n bsp;             ;            &n bsp;             ; Perceiving myself in a blunder

`They are not mine,' said the amiable hostess, more repellingly than Heathcliff himself could have replied. christian louboutin outlet

    `Ah, your favourites are among these?' I continued, turning to an obscure cushion full of something like cats.

    `A strange choice of favourites!' she observed scornfully.

    Unluckily, it was a heap of dead rabbits. I hemmed once more, and drew closer to the hearth, repeating my comment on the wildness of the evening.

    `You should not have come out,' she said, rising and reaching from the chimney-piece two of the painted canisters.

    Her position before was sheltered from the light; now, I had a distinct view of her whole figure and countenance. She was slender, and apparently scarcely past girlhood: an admirable form, and the most exquisite little face that I have ever had the pleasure of beholding; small features, very fair; flaxen ringlets, or rather golden, hanging loose on her delicate neck; and eyes, had they been agreeable in expression, they would have been irresistible: fortunately for my susceptible heart, the only sentiment they evinced hovered between scorn, and a kind of desperation, singularly unnatural to be detected there. The canisters were almost out of her reach; I made a motion to aid her; she turned upon me as a miser might turn if anyone attempted to assist him in counting his gold——louboutin high heels.

    `I don't want your help,' she snapped; `I can get them for myself.'

    `I beg your pardon!' I hastened to reply.

    `Were you asked to tea?' she demanded, tying an apron over her neat black frock, and standing with a spoonful of the leaf poised over the pot.

    `I shall be glad to have a cup,' I answered.

    `Were you asked?' she repeated.

    `No,' I said, half smiling. `You are the proper person to ask me.'

    She flung the tea back, spoon and all, and resumed her chair in a pet; her forehead corrugated, and her red under lip pushed out, like a child's ready to cry.

    Meanwhile, the young man had slung on to his person a decidedly shabby upper garment, and, erecting himself before the blaze, looked down on me from the corner of his eyes, for all the world as if there were some mortal feud unavenged between us. I began to doubt whether he were a servant or not: his dress and speech were both rude, entirely devoid of the superiority observable in Mr and Mrs Heathcliff; his thick brown curls were rough and uncultivated, his whiskers encroached bearishly over his cheeks, and his hands were embrowned like those of a common labourer: still his bearing was free, almost haughty, and he showed none of a domestic's assiduity in attending on the lady of the house. In the absence of clear proofs of his condition, I deemed it best to abstain from noticing his curious conduct; and, five minutes afterwards, the entrance of Heathcliff relieved me, in some measure, from my uncomfortable state louboutin outlet.

    `You see, sir, I am come, according to promise!' I exclaimed, assuming the cheerful; `and I fear I shall be weatherbound for half an hour, if you can afford me shelter during that space.'

    `Half an hour?' he said, shaking the white flakes from his clothes; `I wonder you should select the thick of a snowstorm to ramble about in. Do you know that you run a risk of being lost in the marshes? People familiar with these moors often miss their road on such evenings; and I can tell you there is no chance of a change at present.'

    `Perhaps I can get a guide among your lads, and he might stay at the Grange till morning--could you spare me one?'

    `No, I could not.'

    `Oh, indeed! Well, then, I must trust to my own sagacity.'

    `Umph!'

    `Are you going to mak th' tea?' demanded he of the shabby coat, shifting his ferocious gaze from me to the young lady. nike shox clearance

    `Is he to have any?' she asked, appealing to Heathcliff.

    `Get it ready, will you?' was the answer, uttered so savagely that I started. The tone in which the words were said revealed a genuine bad nature. I no longer felt inclined to call Heathcliff a capital fellow. When the preparations were finished, he invited me with--`Now, sir, bring forward your chair.' And we all, including the rustic youth, drew round the table: an austere silence prevailing while we discussed our meal.

    I thought, if I had caused the cloud, it was my duty to make an effort to dispel it. They could not every day sit so grim and taciturn; and it was impossible, however ill-tempered they might be, that the universal scowl they wore was their everyday countenance.

    `It is strange,' I began, in the interval of swallowing one cup of tea and receiving another--`it is strange how custom can mould our tastes and ideas: many could not imagine the existence of happiness in a life of such complete exile from the world as you spend, Mr Heathcliff; yet I'll venture to say, that, surrounded by your family, and with your amiable lady as the presiding genius over your home and heart--christian louboutin outlet'

    `My amiable lady!' he interrupted, with an almost diabolical sneer on his face. `Where is she--my amiable lady?'

    `Mrs Heathcliff, your wife, I mean.'

    `Well, yes--Oh, you would intimate that her spirit has taken the post of ministering angel, and guards the fortunes of Wuthering Heights even when her body is gone. Is that it?'

    Perceiving myself in a blunder, I attempted to correct it. I might have seen there was too great a disparity between the ages of the parties to make it likely that they were man and wife. One was about forty: a period of mental vigour at which men seldom cherish the delusion of being married for love by girls: that dream is reserved for the solace of our declining years. The other did not look seventeen. christian louboutin pumps

    Then it flashed upon me--`The clown at my elbow, who is drinking his tea out of a basin and eating his bread with unwashed hands, may be her husband: Heathcliff, junior, of course. Here is the consequence of being buried alive: she has thrown herself away upon that boor from sheer ignorance that better individuals existed! A sad pity--I must beware how I cause her to regret her choice.' The last reflection may seem conceited; it was not. My neighbour struck me as bordering on repulsive; I knew, through experience, that I was tolerably attractive——christian louboutin outlet.

    `Mrs Heathcliff is my daughter-in-law,' said Heathcliff, corroborating my surmise. He turned, as he spoke, a peculiar look in her direction: a look of hatred; unless he has a most perverse set of facial muscles that will not, like those of other people, interpret the language of his soul.

    `Ah, certainly--I see now: you are the favoured possessor of the beneficent fairy,' I remarked, turning to my neighbour——christian louboutin heels.

 


From: gangge
05/16/2011 01:54:16

          &n bsp;             ;            &n bsp;             ; What the devil is the matter?

I took a seat at the end of the hearthstone opposite that towards which my landlord advanced, and filled up an interval of silence by attempting to caress the canine mother, who had left her nursery, and was sneaking wolfishly to the back of my legs, her lip curled up, and her white teeth watering for a snatch. My caress provoked a long, guttural gnarl. christian louboutin outlet

    `You'd better let the dog alone,' growled Mr Heathcliff in unison, checking fiercer demonstrations with a punch of his foot. `She's not accustomed to be spoiled--not kept for a pet.' Then, striding to a side door, he shouted again, `Joseph!' louboutin high heels

    Joseph mumbled indistinctly in the depths of the cellar, but gave no intimation of ascending; so his master dived down to him, leaving me vis-à-vis the ruffianly bitch and a pair of grim shaggy sheep-dogs, who shared with her a jealous guardianship over all my movements. Not anxious to come in contact with their fangs, I sat still; but, imagining they would scarcely understand tacit insults, I unfortunately indulged in winking and making faces at the trio, and some turn of my physiognomy so irritated madam, that she suddenly broke into a fury and leapt on my knees. I flung her back, and hastened to interpose the table between us. This proceeding roused the whole hive: half a dozen four-footed fiends, of various sizes and ages, issued from hidden dens to the common centre. I felt my heels and coat-laps peculiar subjects of assault; and parrying off the larger combatants as effectually as I could with the poker, I was constrained to demand, aloud, assistance from some of the household in re-establishing peace. louboutin outlet

    Mr Heathcliff and his man climbed the cellar steps with vexatious phlegm: I don't think they moved one second faster than usual, though the hearth was an absolute tempest of worrying and yelping. Happily, an inhabitant of the kitchen made more dispatch: a lusty dame, with tucked-up gown, bare arms, and fire-flushed cheeks, rushed into the midst of us flourishing a frying-pan: and used that weapon, and her tongue, to such purpose, that the storm subsided magically, and she only remained, heaving like a sea after a high wind, when her master entered on the scene.

    `What the devil is the matter?' he asked, eyeing me in a manner that I could ill endure after this inhospitable treatment. nike shox clearance

    `What the devil, indeed!' I muttered. `The herd of possessed swine could have had no worse spirits in them than those animals of yours, sir. You might as well leave a stranger with a brood of tigers!'

    `They won't meddle with persons who touch nothing,' he remarked, putting the bottle before me, and restoring the displaced table. `The dogs do right to be vigilant. Take a glass of wine?'

    `No, thank you.'

    `Not bitten, are you?'

    `If I had been, I would have set my signet on the biter.'

    Heathcliff's countenance relaxed into a grin.

    `Come, come,' he said, `you are flurried, Mr Lockwood. Here, take a little wine. Guests are so exceedingly rare in this house that I and my dogs, I am willing to own, hardly know how to receive them. Your health, sir!——christian louboutin outlet'

  I bowed and returned the pledge; beginning to perceive that it would be foolish to sit sulking for the misbehaviour of a pack of curs: besides, I felt loath to yield the fellow further amusement at my expense; since the humour took that turn. He--probably swayed by prudential consideration of the folly of offending a good tenant--relaxed a little in the laconic style of chipping off his pronouns and auxiliary verbs, and introduced what he supposed would be a subject of interest to me--a discourse on the advantages and disadvantages of my present place of retirement. I found him very intelligent on the topics we touched; and before I went home, I was encouraged so far as to volunteer another visit tomorrow. He evidently wished no repetition of my intrusion. I shall go, notwithstanding. It is astonishing how sociable I feel myself compared with him.

    Yesterday afternoon set in misty and cold. I had half a mind to spend it by my study fire, instead of wading through heath and mud to Wuthering Heights. On coming up from dinner, however (N.B. I dine between twelve and one o'clock; the housekeeper, a matronly lady, taken as a fixture along with the house, could not, or would not, comprehend my request that I might be served at five), on mounting the stairs with this lazy intention, and stepping into the room, I saw a servant girl on her knees surrounded by brushes and coal-scuttles, and raising an infernal dust as she extinguished the flames with heaps of cinders. This spectacle drove me back immediately; I took my hat, and, after a four-miles' walk, arrived at Heathcliff's garden gate just in time to escape the first feathery flakes of a snow shower christian louboutin pumps.

    On that bleak hill top the earth was hard with a black frost, and the air made me shiver through every limb. Being unable to remove the chain, I jumped over, and, running up the flagged causeway bordered with straggling gooseberry bushes, knocked vainly for admittance, till my knuckles tingled and the dogs howled.

    `Wretched inmates!' I ejaculated mentally, `you deserve perpetual isolation from your species for your churlish inhospitality. At least, I would not keep my doors barred in the day time. I don't care--I will get in!' So resolved, I grasped the latch and shook it vehemently. Vinegar-faced Joseph projected his head from a round window of the barn—— christianlouboutin outlet.

    `Whet are ye for?' he shouted. `T' maister's dahn i' t' fowld. Go rahnd by th' end ut' laith, if yah went tuh spake tull him.'

    `Is there nobody inside to open the door?' I hallooed, responsively.

`They's nobbut t' missis; and shoo'll nut oppen't an ye mak yer flaysome dins till neeght.'

`Why? Cannot you tell her who I am, eh, Joseph?'

    `Nor-ne me! Aw'll hae noa hend wi't,' muttered the head, vanishing.

    The snow began to drive thickly. I seized the handle to essay another trial; when a young man without coat, and shouldering a pitchfork, appeared in the yard behind. He hailed me to follow him, and, after marching through a wash-house, and a paved area containing a coal shed, pump, and pigeon cot, we at length arrived in the huge, warm, cheerful apartment, where I was formerly received. It glowed delightfully in the radiance of an immense fire, compounded of coal, peat, and wood; and near the table, laid for a plentiful evening meal, I was pleased to observe the `missis', an individual whose existence I had never previously suspected. I bowed and waited, thinking she would bid me take a seat. She looked at me, leaning back in her chair, and remained motionless and mute.

    `Rough weather!' I remarked. `I'm afraid, Mrs Heathcliff, the door must bear the consequence of your servants' leisure attendance: I had hard work to make them hear me.'

    She never opened her mouth. I stared--she stared also: at any rate, she kept her eyes on me in a cool, regardless manner, exceedingly embarrassing and disagreeable.

    `Sit down,' said the young man gruffly. `He'll be in soon.'

    I obeyed; and hemmed, and called the villain Juno, who deigned, at this second interview, to move the extreme tip of her tail, in token of owning my acquaintance. christian louboutin heels.

   





Page:  1 | 2 | Next >  Last >>



TERMS & CONDITIONS | HELP GUIDE | COMPATIBILITY | ABOUT US | GET INVOLVED | SUBSCRIBE | ARCHIVE

©Copyright 2007 myweightlossdiary.com All rights reserved Website Design by: Webbizideas.com.