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My transformation starts....now!
01/08/2008 22:55:33 / other
Ok, so the mood says "Other", i was looking for uncomfortable... I have indegestion, resulting from sitting in bed at my sisters laptop and eating 2 packets of crisps, a bowl of coco pops, a cheese topped bread bun, a chocolate doughnut and a piece of a huge toblerone... it has to stop!!!
I get indegestion a lot because, by my own admission, I sit at my computer a lot, which is pretty lazy... thats the reason i thought was the cause for my indegestion, now I'm beginning to think its just plain being unfit and unhealthy.
If you ever have the misfortune to experience indegestion, you'll know that I'm laying here now, wiggling myself around trying to burp or fart the damn thing out, with a tight chest, sore stomach and aching back... Not pleasant!!
So, I'm going to get fit, not just because of the indesgestion, though that's what is probing me into documenting my weight loss (hopefully!) on here. There's probably not a soul who will read this, but I suppose I'm doing it just for my own benefit, and if anybody wants to encourage me along the way then great!
So, here's my story in weight terms...
I was a dancer until I was around 11, when I moved to high school i quit and until then i was a little skinny thing, then through high school it all piled on... at our house we have big meals! My dad has a sizable gut on him and my brother used to be fairly overweight and my mum is constantly dieting. I know that genetically I'm not meant to be skinny, I also know that I can't use that excuse for myself, because my mum, dad and brother have all managed to lose weight, dad by running and rugby training, mum through weight watchers, and my brother through the gym and generally eating better (his weight loss has been the most dramatic), whilst my sister has always been in great shape and has a healthy attitude towards eating.
I remember the first time I wanted to lose weight seriously, and it was in the run up to my 18th birthday party, I saw all my friends looking gorgeous in their dresses at their 18th's and I didnt want to get to mine and feel anything less than fabulous. So I started at the gym and went 5 days a week most weeks, bought monthly passes every month, and stayed for 2 hours each time, doing both cardio and weights, and 150 sit ups every time. I also joined weight watchers with my mum, and for about 4 months I did so well, I started the diet at 17st 2lbs... 240lbs if there's any americans reading, and on my 18th birthday i was 15st, thats over 2 stone/28 pounds in 4 months, which i think's pretty good!! I carried on for a while and got down to 14st 7lbs, my goal was 14st....but then I moved to uni.
Ok, so I do inherit my mums big bum, and my dads belly, but it doesnt mean I can't get rid of it, as I had proved before my 18th! I remember feeling great as I moved to my new flat in Lincoln ready to start my media production course at university, my suitcase was packed with all my size 14 clothes, which considering I used to be in size 20's, is great!
I had a hard time adjusting to Uni, it was a love/hate thing, you see, when I wasnt out drinking 12 sugary alcopops a night, having a fry up in the morning, chocolate and crisps constantly, and takeaway at night, I was stuck in, missing home and comfort eating myself into oblivion. I think the independence and lack of discipline got me most... I'm a big cheese-lover, so I would buy austrian and bavarian cheese, cheesestrings, dairylea dunkers, babybels, and eat ridiculous amounts of them in a day! We dont have those at home, but because I was doing my own food shopping, I could get what I wanted, and i did.
So the weight piled on... towards the end of first year, I started at the weight watchers in Lincoln with my overweight flatmate, she did great! lost 8 pounds in the first 2 weeks, i lost nothing. It's so much harder to lose it the second time around, theyd ask me what had gone wrong at the meetings and i would stand on the scales baffled, going "i really dont know". Then my flatmate started bailing out on meetings, and consequently so did i.
Second year of uni, i was living with my best friend James, who had just gotten over an illness that left him losing a ridiculous amount of weight, he was very skinny even before the illness, so he was advised to keep his calories up to build his strength back up. We did joint shopping every week, and so his calorific choices became my meals and snacks also. All this time the weight kept piling on.
This year, Im still living with James, plus 3 other boys and my other best friend Lauren, so on top of Jameses fatty food choices, I have Lauren who is a terrible influence, and some nights we will go to the shop for snacks to watch with a dvd, and i will get pepperamis, dunkers, nuts, crisps, chocolate, sweets, everything, and eat them all in about half an hour! No wonder i get indesgestion!
So now I'm back in size 20's clothes and iv just weighed myself and am now 17st 4lbs, the most i have ever weighed. Luckily I dont actually look that fat because im 6ft 1 tall, I can carry it quite well. Don't get me wrong, my weight doesnt depress me, I'm confident in myself as looks arent everything, I dress well, have good hair, a good style and great makeup skills, so I can look pretty, but I have those days like everyone where I just think, I look awful. I know i'll have those days whatever I weigh, but I'd love to lose weight for my self esteem, to feel good when i go out and get compliments like i did the first time around, and I'd love to be able to shop at places like topshop and river island... I remember when i was 17 and i bought a topshop skirt and a river island dress in a size 14 and i was over the moon... I probably couldnt afford it now being a student, but hey i can dream!
So thats the story, and now im promising myself that I will lose weight, and get rid of this indegestion, haha! My mum has booked me on a family holiday to Ibiza this summer, so I want to look good for then after seeing the horrendous pictures from last summers holiday! Also for my 21st which is approaching in april.. so wish me luck!!! I'll be updating constantly if anyone fancies a read, but I guess it'll be just like a diary, as the name of the website says!
Thanks for reading if you made it all the way through that essay!
Love, Lauren xxxxx
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