DATE: 05/12/2009 23:12:42 / MOOD: other

I've found myself in a bit of a dilemma. It's true in this regards that 'Money makes the World go round'. And this might just be done to the newness of it all I don't know. But in the first three weeks of my weight loss journey, I was doing well, exceptionally well considering it was right round the time of Easter and we all know that means CHOCOLATE! loads of it.

But, I was pumped and doing well. Although my clothes are feeling looser and I feel lighter I find that the most recent three weeks have been all over the place as far as my eating is concerned. Now, the difference in those two 3 weeks is that with my program I had 2 servings of protein powder per shake (2 shakes a day) I didn't at all feel hungry/crave/deprived, even my thought patterns were positive.

But as you know all these things cost money, and I thought well, to help stretch the money further I would reduce my protein serving to 1 per shake in order to make the powder last longer and therefore not have to spend as often replacing. However in these recent three weeks, I feel less satisfied, my thought patterns aren't as positive or strong against cravings.

So, where do I draw the line? I'm a stay at home mum, my husband is the only source of income (although I do receive a parenting benefit) so money's not exactly plentiful.

BUT I want to lose this excess weight more than anything, so I guess I've answered my own question. Suck it up, do the program how it should be done and pull our belts TIGHTER! lol. O well, I think I might need to just experiment for a bit longer and see how it goes?

 

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DATE: 05/11/2009 04:53:03 / MOOD: loosing weight

I'm feeling a lil' free-er of all the baggage that i've been carrying around the past week and today it was refreshing talking with my coach over the phone.

I'm currently in Week 6 of my weightloss journey and have lost a total of 9.4kgs to date (almost 1 1/2 stonnes) I'm come a long way BUT have a long way to go still.

This morning I slept through a half hour past the alarm but managed to get out of bed still and went for my walk.

I've had my son and his friend playing for the day together at a music class and library. 

So it's been a good start to the week.

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DATE: 05/10/2009 02:11:16 / MOOD: happy

Well after dumping my load yesterday (refer to P***** OFF! entry, lol) I am feeling better today.

I wonder if it has anything to do with it being MOTHER'S DAY today (Happy Mother's Day to ALL YOU LADIES out there!).

My husband and Son gave me a bit of a lie in this morning, Our Son came into our room waking me up - "mum, mum, you got two presents!" "open them, open them!" so how could I not but get dressed and go out to the dining room and open them where my darling husband was wrapping a third present.

I was made breakfast in bed (ham, cheese and tomato croissants - yummo!) and we're about to have a roast and vegetables with apple crumble for dinner. So it's been a 'treat' day today.

We all went out for a morning drive up the coast further which was nice and relaxing. Throughout the day I've felt little urges to 'hang in' there and recommit myself to my weight loss and overcoming self doubt and destruction which is where i've been at basically all of this week.

 Back to the grind stone tomorrow!

 

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DATE: 05/08/2009 23:53:34 / MOOD: angry

I am not in the best of moods at the moment, or have been really if I was honest with myself since Sunday.

So when I say that I find this website so frustrating and difficult to navigate around at times, remember I am already wound up!

I feel like I am right back at square one! and I am so angry/disappointed with myself. Have you ever been in a situation where you know that something will happen but when you're given the news you still find yourself hurt/angry/P***** Off anyway - like really what's the point in getting yourself all twisted up and besides yourself when you knew it was going to happen? And really it doesn't have anything to do with me, but it's got me all bent outta shape over it and it is effecting my weight loss. I mean really what is going on with me why I am reacting this way?

This feels like one of the worst weeks of my life!

I don't what to feel like this, and I feel a failure because I do feel like this, and I can't shake it off and it's not good.

I am feeling sorry for myself and I need to STOP.

I've been avoiding speaking with my 'coach' cos I just don't know what to say. and I have avoided coming on the site too but I think I needed to get it all out.

I think with 'Mother's Day' tomorrow I need to take a step back, let it all out and get myself together for another day a fresh new week come Monday 11th.

On a brighter note, It's my nephews birthdays today! Twins, they are ONE! and It's been a year today since we've been living on the Sunny Coast and speaking of Sun it's a beautiful day today.

Aaaarrgggh, I need to get over myself. Seriously.

I want my MUM. I want her to give me a HUG from her and to tell me it's going to be alright. I feel like crying.

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DATE: 05/05/2009 00:48:28 / MOOD: loosing weight

Woke up this morning about 7 and just thought now that with my husband having an early work meeting and wouldn't have gone for a surf that I could've gotten up and gone for a walk! o well.

I did however weigh and measure myself. And surprise surprise I actually used our own scales here at home. I didn't have to go out to the mall where they have those big industrial scales that you use in the ladies room and try and cover the screen flashing your weight when others walk past! lol.

I've lost some more weight and inches. That self doubt is a real killer! sometimes I feel lighter and I feel that I'm losing weight, my clothes are looser, but then when I stand in front of the mirror I think I see the same person and think, this is useless - "i'm no smaller" and that really throws me. My coach was saying not to depend so much on the scales but find a pair of pants or top that maybe is too snug for me right now and try them on from time to time and then one day i'll surprise myself! so I must remember that when I'm doubting myself.

I need have more faith in myself, and be more self loving and encouraging. Easy said then done, huh?

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DATE: 05/04/2009 07:10:26 / MOOD: happy

Just about to close another 'long' weekend. It's Labour Day here in QLD Australia which has been a public holiday all round pretty much with major stores closed. Last weekend was Anzac Day Saturday so again everything was closed! anyone would think no one works in this country! lol.

At least it was good to have hubby home. We went away yesterday to be with family for a baby blessing (christening) our Nephew and spent some time with family. We stayed the night with some good friends and spent today celebrating Island Culture (Maori, Fijian, Samoan, Tongan, Raro...) including special guests; the Laughing Samoans!! so obviously that meant lots of laughter, music, food, merchandise and appreciating the diversity of other cultures.

So, being a public holiday today I didn't get to weigh and measure but tomorrow, first thing.

It's been a long day and my boys are out to it already! our son lasted all of 5 minutes on our drive home. zzzzzzz

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DATE: 04/27/2009 04:48:19 / MOOD: full of life

Back on board today.

My alarm woke me this morning and I got up rather refreshed with a good night's sleep. I started the day off on a good note and went for my morning walk, I'd set out to do a light jog today and only did a small amount as my stomach was turning something nasty! lol however I put a bit extra distance in.

I measured and weighed today being Monday and thought it would be rather scarey as I let go a lil' over the weekend only to my surprise that not only did i put on weight or stayed the same but lost 500gms. So hopefully this week (week four) I can add to it.

Had a busy morning with groceries, library pickups (books), petrol, had a hair cut and travelled back down south to spend the night with my  brother and his family and bring Reuben home.

I have been thinking about rewarding myself (make up, eye contacts, haircut etc) every 10kg loss but my hair got the better of me lately and decided to get the chop today on my way down south. I was just over half way there at a loss of 5.6kg in 3 weeks.   Its given me a boost and I even feel lighter! lol as I've very thick hair. So it's a nice chance.

Well 3 weeks down and I'm feeling lighter and happier already. I wish I could fast foward another 3 months and sneak a look at the newer me? I have 6-7 months til we leave for NZ, can't wait!

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DATE: 04/26/2009 04:12:03 / MOOD: happy

I felt a little bit 'too' free this weekend, not having our Son with us! and indulged a little even a bit 'too' little yesterday and today.

And yes I feel like going off at myself! but I don't think it would do any good, so I am going to learn from what I've done and move through to another day (Monday) with renewed strength and plan to go for my morning walk and have a busy day planned.

Being Monday it's my weigh and measure day so we'll see how I really did do. Tomorrow will be Week 4.

Bring it on.

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DATE: 04/23/2009 00:56:04 / MOOD: other

Well I packed up the car along with our Son and headed South to spend a night with my brother and family. I will be heading back home tomorrow afternoon leaving our son for a holiday with his Uncle.

I got a bit busy and haven't really eaten much today. Probably a good idea since lasagne is on the menu for dinz tonight! lol.

Small portions, small portions! lol

I am feeling a bit better today, not so flat as the last couple of days. Spoke with my coach yesterday which help put things into perspective i think.

Have a great weekend all.

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