DATE: 05/31/2008 11:05:38 / MOOD: gaining weight

I'm soo bad. Well, obviously pay day kinda correlates with take out, we went to our favourite place, got some take out and a couple of movies and we went home and I lost control. I had been really having a terrible week and I relate take out with fun times so, to feel good I eat it. Oh goodness, I thought I was doing well, I had looked at the scale yesterday morning and to my surprise, it said 182 and now I shot right back up to 184. I feel really ashamed. The numbers really get to me, I mean, I look at my weight, let's say 185, and I think to myself, woah, I wanna lose 40 pounds, that's alot. You know, if I was down to 175, I wouldn't be so discouraged, I'd think, oh, only 15 pounds to my pre baby weight, and then from there, it's just working on those extra pounds I wanna lose for myself, but, being stuck in the 180's is extremely discouraging, it's a BIG number that I'm not used to, I don't know how to tackle it. Hopefully today I'll have a jam, play some drums, lose some steam and then jump back on the boat on sunday, go for a hike with my baby and we'll keep it going! Hopefully I can survive this weekend without going overboard. But, if not, there's always monday.

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DATE: 05/29/2008 20:14:29 / MOOD: disappointed

I've had a really tough time losing weight. I've always been a little bit curvaceous and a few years ago when I was finishing secondary school I began to gain more weight. About 6 months into my junior year at college I became pregnant and I gained quite alot of weight in my pregnancy, I went from being 160 pounds to being 220 pounds. Once I gave birth however, I dropped to 190 and then I went through a really tough bought of PPD and gained most of the weight back, I went back to being 210.

I've lost a little bit of weight since April, and now am sitting at about 185 but I'm having a difficult time being motivated to lose more weight. I just happen to feel down quite often about my weight and this depression really inhibits me, it makes me feel like there's no use trying, like I can't reach my goals. 

 I really do want to reach my goal of 140 pounds, but I have to patience of my 7 month old daughter, I just need some support and encouragement to help me along the way, so, I'll blog my journey and post pictures and hopefully get some comments and feedback to help me along the way! 

 Thank you whomever for the support and good luck everyone on their journey as well. Let's do this!

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